pilgrim people

Well said. Read it here. (HT: Danny Hyde)

As a Reformed pastor, I have, at times, heard parents object to the historic and Reformed practice of worshiping with their children. For some, there are just too many insurmountable hurdles to overcome.

As a parent of four covenant children myself, I sympathize with many of these parents' concerns. But no matter how much we may feel frazzled, frustrated, and overwhelmed by the practice of the family pew, it never warrants throwing in the towel. There are good answers to these objections. What follows are responses to some of the more common ones that I have heard:

“My children are so young; they don’t understand everything in the sermon.”

True, when children are very little, they won't be able to follow an expository sermon from beginning to end. But that is alright. They should still be in worship anyway. They will begin to understand more as they grow. The first thing they should come to understand is the importance of worship to mommy and daddy. Do they witness your joy and enthusiasm about coming to worship? Do their little eyes see the value you place on receiving from the Lord in Word and Sacrament? Do you make an effort for them to understand that being called to worship weekly is not only God’s requirement of his people, but also our joyful privilege? Do you seek to make it a joy for them as well? It is important that we help our children understand (as inconceivable as it may seem to them!) that corporate worship is the highlight of every Christian’s week.

Then, as early as possible, get into the regular practice of asking your children what they did understood about the sermon. Without turning it into an interrogation or lecture, gently question them and explain a few basic concepts from the sermon for them to grasp. The regular routine of this practice is priceless. Like most things we do consistently as a family, our children will come to expect this practice and, in all likelihood, begin to listen more carefully and systematically to the sermon. Moreover, you will have countless opportunities to draw upon the text explained by the pastor and teach your children.

Above all, don’t give up. Pray for the graces of their spiritual understanding and your perseverance.

“But I have a squirmer! It is difficult for me to worship and pay attention during the service.”

You are hardly alone. Since the days of Seth, when “people began to call upon the name of the LORD” in worship (Gen 4.26), covenant families have been blessed with squirmy little ankle-biters. This is nothing uncommon. Still, a fidgety, restless child in worship can test the patience of the holiest of moms and dads. But be encouraged. It is only for a season that they are so small. Think long-term. Their spiritual nurture and development (as well as yours!) takes place over a lifetime. In most cases, the wiggly years will pass. As Robbie Castleman put it in her excellent little book, Parenting in the Pew, “It has been said that modern people worship their work, work at their play, and play at their worship. We need to work at our worship. With children, we often have to work harder.” This is especially true with our little ones in the younger years. Prepare ahead of time the best you can. Be creative. Remember that you are part of a worshiping community. Persevere in prayer!

“We are new to the Reformed faith; my kids are accustomed to going to a youth program during the service.”

Many of us were not privileged to grow up in a Reformed church. But, by God’s grace, we have come to discover the riches of Reformed Christianity and therefore cherish the theology and worship for the biblical gold it is. Nevertheless, the adjustments aren’t always easy. If we got a late start and our children are accustomed to being shipped off and entertained during the worship service, we should be prepared to meet resistance from them. A little extra teaching and explanation about the nature of worship will probably be in order. Explain to them that worship is not about entertainment; it is called a service because we serve God in our worship. He sets the standard, not us. Moreover, worship is the primary way in which God feeds us. Your children may still hate it, complain that it is “boring,” and discourage you continuously. Explain it to them again, remind them of the fifth commandment, pray for them, love them, and continue to bring them anyway.

“Much of the service feels rote and routine; I am concerned that my children will think worship is lifeless and mechanical.”

Keep in mind that worship is about vertical conversation: the entire service is built around a dialogue between God and his people. He speaks and we respond. If it feels rote and routine, it may be because we are accustomed to entertainment in a worship service. Or, it may be that we have grown up in a Reformed church but never received instruction on what each element means.

When we begin to understand what the invocation is, why we read the law and confess our sins, or what the benediction is all about, we begin to see the beauty and depth of Reformed worship. When we study Reformed liturgy, we quickly learn that each element of the service is rooted in Scripture as well as 2,000 years of historic Christian practice. Not only is it biblical, but Reformed worship has a continuity throughout the world and throughout time.

This means that each week, our little ones are able to take their place with the communion of saints as they pray the Lord's Prayer, recite the Creed, and sing the Gloria Patri. Each week, our children are able to participate as worshipers in these important parts of worship, rather than sitting as mere spectators. Each week, parents have opportunity at home to instruct their children on the meaning of the Lord’s Prayer, the Creed, and every other element of the service.  

I am fine with my teenager sitting in worship with me as long as the church has a good youth group.

There is a tendency for some of us to think that in order for the worship service to be effective in the life of a teenager, it must be supplemented by a youth group. But have you ever stopped to reflect on such a notion? At its heart is the assumption that the worship service and God’s ordained means of grace are inadequate in the life of a teenager; something more is needed, namely, something more “relevant.” But have you ever considered that the Bible never speaks of a ‘youth group’ or the office of ‘youth pastor’? That is not to say that such meetings are wrong or cannot be of benefit, only that they are not essential. If they were, God would have prescribed them in the New Testament.

Sadly, many parents look for a church with a youth group as if it were a sacrament or one of the distinguishing marks of a true church. As popular as ‘youth groups’ may be in our culture, we must be careful not to accept blindly the notion that our young people need a program in order to be properly nurtured in the faith. Like any program, a 'youth group' is merely an extra to what is indispensable and cannot replace the responsibility of the minister on the Lord’s Day and the parents throughout the week.

God has given us all that we need for the spiritual growth and well being of us and our children. Let us diligently use the means he has provided and teach our children the importance of going to worship and not just church.

If any Reformed parents out there would care to comment on anything that you have found helpful in teaching your little ones about the importance of worship and how to participate, please do!

Those of us who are parents put great value on the educational development of our children. We make personal sacrifices and put in many hours of hard work in order to provide what we believe is best for them. Our desire is for our children to be educated so that they might succeed and do well in life as servants of God and neighbor. Likewise, when it comes to the spiritual development and nurture of our children, we seek that which is best for them. We want them to know God: who he is and what he has done in history. We want them to understand why God has created the universe and why we exist in it. We want them to know God’s Word and hide it in their hearts. We want them to understand the meaning and significance of their covenant baptism. And above all, we want them to know and love the sweetness of the gospel.

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Last evening, as my family and I were having our after-dinner devotions, I was reminded of the chief reason I am a Protestant and not a Roman Catholic. My ten-year old son, Isaac, recited from memory Question 60 from the Heidelberg Catechism:

Q. How are you righteous before God?

A. Only by true faith in Jesus Christ. That is, although my conscience accuses me, that I have grievously sinned against all the commandments of God, and have never kept any of them, and am still prone always to all evil; yet God, without any merit of mine, of mere grace, grants and imputes to me the perfect satisfaction, righteousness, and holiness of Christ, as if I had never committed nor had any sins, and had myself accomplished all the obedience which Christ has fulfilled for me; if only I accept such benefit with a believing heart.

HC Q.60 gets right at the heart of the gospel. Through the life, death, and resurrection of Christ, the great exchange has taken place: my sin was imputed to Christ and Christ's righteousness was imputed to me. What better news could there possibly be for a sinner? God justifies the ungodly by his grace alone, through faith alone in the finished work of Christ alone. What announcement could possibly produce more joy for the struggling Christian who is like a bruised reed and smoking flax than hearing how God regards me as righteous in his sight on account of the real righteousness earned by Christ by his active and passive obedience?

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When I first became exposed to Reformed Christianity, one of the things that stood out vividly to me was the practice of family prayer or "family worship." In the revivalist, evangelical world in which I grew up, this practice was never emphasized. To be sure, the church in which I was raised highly encouraged the important devotional acts of praying and reading one's Bible. But I can't ever remember a pastor emphasizing the necessity and importance of regular family worship during the week. Instead, there was a full array of programs and small groups offered, each tailor-made to every member of the family: Jr.High group, high school group, college-and-career, men's group, ladies' group, young marrieds, married-with-children, empty-nesters, etc., etc. Not that everything in all of these groups was always bad. It's just that there seemed to be an emphasis upon separating the family as a unit during the week in order to "minister" to each person's needs.

Oddly enough, Sunday worship wasn't much different.

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